In celebration of Holy Week here at TSOM, we found it fitting to celebrate our Bible Belt roots, get drunk on the Holy Spirit, and find the worst children’s gospel records ever recorded. The history of gospel music targeting children goes back long before “Jesus Loves Me,” but the modern spectrum of these recordings has taken on some disastrously turns for the worst. This small assortment gives us a brief, but varied survey of children’s gospel music of the modern age. As much as we tried to find it in our broken selves the ability to forgive them, we simply couldn’t.
Voices: J. Wyrick, S. Bennett, C. Allred, the Dirty Deacon, and special guest Luke T. Harrington from Oklahoma.
Intro music contains elements of M.Barnacle’s “Erase That” (used with permission), contains elements from Reverend X, the Fat Boys, Kid Koala, Johnny Adams, Biggie Smalls coughing up something nasty, Larry and Tommy. Arranged by TSOM’s Jeff.
5:04: Carman “Battle Zone” (Word, 1994)
10:34: The Panel discusses “Battle Zone.”
11:50: Click here to indulge in Human Videos.
13:02: The whole Yo Kidz 2 album is here.
16:43: X-Treme Power “Respect and Obey Authority” (X-Treme Power, 2011)
19:55: The Panel discusses “Respect and Obey Authority.”
21:18: Cold Slither.
24:07: Gospo and the Gospel Kids “Let Us Sacrifice More Time” (Gospo, 2015)
28:44: The Panel discusses “Let Us Sacrifice More Time.”
33:03: CORRECTION: It is a girl named “Best.”
33:14: Destined Kids “I am Blessed” (Pancoco Jams, 2008)
38:11: The Panel discusses “I am Blessed.”
39:22: We have not yet confirmed or denied that there is human trafficking going on.
41:20: When Blake hypothesizes, his voice goes up an octave.
42:02: Psalty “The Body Song” (Rettino Kerner Publishing, 1982)
45:33: The Panel discuss “The Body Song.”
45:41: A large technological failure left us with major holes in the recording forcing us to basically surgically construct the last eight minutes of the show. It’s also at this point that we determined that Luke failed to tape any of his vocals. Also, we had Toilet Bowl Sam make an appearance after disappearing since the first episode.
47:36: The Panel discusses its selection for tonight’s Stinky Pinky, in a 2-1-1-1 vote, Carman’s “Battle Zone” wins with the victory going to our guest Luke.
51:25: Luke plays a quick Lightning Round going a miserable 2 out of 5.